Why even bother

Feeling defeated.

Feeling like why bother with any of this?

Why give your heart to people who hurt it?

Why I get comfortable somewhere only to have to leave.

Why slave so hard for money, when it all gets spent on bills and you can’t even get what you want anyway.

Why even bother


oh my starts

Today I discovered my least favorite part about being a woman

I was lying in bed this early afternoon as I am under the weather

I am also on my period Wich is a very unpleasant combination

My nose began to itch and suddenly I sneezed

I felt my vagina tense up with the sneeze and release/spray huge bubble of blood out of itself

It was disgusting

Oh the joys of being female.

The Name Game

It’s no secret that some say I want babies

Whenever we talk about baby names that seems to become a game to see who can make fun or the name the most. How can we turn camora into cum-more-a? Or Erica into Eric-cock !

I hate that this is the case. No matter what name you come up with someone is always ready to tear it down.

Just name your kid what you want (within reason … Fuck you if you name your kid blanket or something ). Stop trying to make everyone else happy. You are not beer!

Dear burgers

Why are burgers french fries potato chips chocolate cookies so good? I could have kept going even with a never-ending shmorgasborg of terrible for you junk food that’s absolutely amazing. Why does it have to be that way? I feel so fat and it’s disgusting:-( but I love cheeseburgers! I need more healthy meals in my life besides the few things I know how to work vegetables into. Like I have no idea how to use the for massive zucchinis that grew in the garden….

Please send help 🙂

I don’t want to become 400 lb but I’m afraid it’s going to happen soon with gummy worms and popcorn and taco dip all too close by!

Early morning bliss

I always hate getting up early in the morning. I am more productive in the afternoon and would rather sleep until then.

But when you’re up in the early morning before everyone else, when the sky is just turning light blue from black, when the birds are chirping the early morning songs..

It’s actually quite nice to be awake. It’s beautiful and peaceful. It’s fascinating and magical to see the world waking up around you, and seeing what kind of day you have a head.

I won’t make it a habit getting up super early…. But I will be glad and blessed when I do.

Gotta Give

I’m the type of girl who sees bleekness. I know how hard things can be sometimes, and I know life is overwhelming. Sure, it’s great!! (Most of the time) but when you get down to it sometimes it can be too much to handle.

So that’s why I have to plan fun things. That’s why I have to to reward myself with a cheese burger or a smoke, because I know I need that little happiness to look forward to.

I’m getting better at enjoying the here and now happinesses and learn to ride all of life’s roaring tides. And like the waves of the river where I will kayak tommorow, I’ll take life one stride at a time and will enjoy the ride.

The Fosters

I have watched ABC Family/freeform’s drama The Fosters from its beginning 5 years ago. I remember coming home from school and watching the very first episode on a college break, and no one else being as excited about it in my family as I was. I did not have cable for my entire college experience but I found a way every Tuesday to tune in to The Fosters. Whether it was on scary websites or televisions in buildings on campus I did not live in, I always found a way to watch.

So naturally I was very distraught to hear it is ending. I voraciously finished the fifth season wondering how it was going to end.

And it hurts my soul to say that I was disappointed. It hurts my soul to say this even more for a show that I so loyally watched every Tuesday, having to find it and watch it in the strangest ways possible. It was unfortunate because everything was beautiful and wrapping up and ending so nicely when they ruined it with extra episodes of filler. Episodes 21 and 22 of season 5 we’re totally unnecessary and it ruined the end of an otherwise flawlessly beautiful story.

They should have ended on episode 20 with all of the foster kids graduating from high school and showing us where they would go next. After all, this show is supposed to be about the struggles of children in the foster care system. So few of them make it and graduate. This could have been a very powerful way to Simply end the series how they did.

But instead they added two more episodes for Brandon’s wedding with some girl we don’t know at all and have no connection to. I understand that they want to have a spin-off series and are releasing a 3 short episode series foreclosure. They easily could have made it a five short episode series and simply added those in there instead of ruining the end of the show.

Ultimately it was definitely worth watching. This show will make you feel alive. It will make you think about our country and world’s problems. And it will make you more aware of how to be a better person. I recommend you watch it, however, don’t be put off guard by a disappointing ending.

Cooking on high

Cooking on high is Netflix’s first ever competitive cannabis cooking show. I have already watched every episode in the first season. But I definitely have a couple criticisms to share.

First, they cleaned their judges were celebrity judges, but I did not recognize a single one of them. In one episode they had four judges (which were all members of a rap group I have never hear of) but in all the other episodes there were only two judges.

And there were repeats of judges and chiefs in the episodes even though they were trying to appear disconnected. These celeberty chiefs seemed to know how to cook with cannabis but there was only one chief who competed who never cooked with it before.

I think if this show was done differently it would have been better. They should have done a tournament with all the various repeating celebrity chefs and those same judges could have judged. They also should have found more chefs who had never cooked with cannabis competing.

But ultimately I give it 7 out of 10 pot leaves. It was educational and entertaining. It was a good lighthearted show that expanded your mind and stomach to new possibilities. Ultimately I recommend you watch it.